I have thoughts, ideas that keep ramming against my skull like a trapped elephant trying to get back to the mother land or more likely the African plains, to roam free from this captivity and bounce along the warm waves and gentle grasses of some wide open world. my only fear? Caitlin Hill will stop by and correct my grammar and/or spelling. Lucky for me, there is a spell checker here. ;) the grammar is cultural, she cant argue with me there.
By now you are asking your self, what thought could have possibly, so over whelmingly, convinced me that these words have to freed into cyberspace. ok maybe your not asking yourself that, sorry i am projecting on you. but lets suspend reality for one minute and say for arguments sake, you were?
Well brace yourself here it is. Dammit i lost my train of thought..... oh wait, no i didn't, i got it.
If you don't know, i am a you tuber. nobody big, just a guy with a camera, some software and a few ideas from time to time. in my time on youtube, i never thought to make a blog. i thought vlogging was it. that anything that could be said, will be said and edited in video. (and now the image of a man continually running into a brick wall and falling down comes to mind, I am that man)
Ok back to the blog now, bloodied but feeling better.
I talk to a lot of youtubers, especially those i feel have a talent and an intellect that is lacking in the majority of this world. i do it because, in some ways i am attracted (as in magnetism, not sexually) to the type of person that can start, maintain and take me to climax in a conversation. maybe i should have used the word, end point, when referring to conversations. oh well point made. now that i am some what "seasoned", i really find it odd that these same people that i converse with, try so hard to convince you they are just normal people. i am one of those people, but yet here we are with our blogs, vlogs, stories, slices into our lives, revealing pieces of ourselves we would not show to our mothers, brothers, sisters or fathers. but to the strangers who we barely know, we are the people with the lamp shades on our heads, the center point of controversy, the middle of the discussion, the target of the topic. here we are.
This is my literal foreplay, i am teasing you. and you wonder why i chose the word climax to define ending?
In this world very few people can do what we as youtubers do. think about it for a second. i am not gods gift to anything except a trash can. yet i can, at a moments notice, flip that camera on and reveal one of my multiple personalities. (i better slow down, this fore play is stimulating climax way too fast, i swear i am a better literal lover than that, remember this is my first time, tell me you'll hang with me.)
isn't that the trick though? the secret to every youtuber. just stop for a second and think. does it happen to you? i know for a fact when i step in front of the camera, my brain metamorphisizes into another being, and i can see my self as if i am off to the left and there i am, charging a guy on stilts, making a prank phone call, or trying to figure out how can i get choice shots of me in a
- 1.) jail cell
- 2.) walking thru a church scene
- 3.) flying along side a 757 making faces at the passengers or better yet, pointing to the rear of the plane and mouthing the words "YOUR GAS CAP IS OPEN! YOUR GAS CAP IS OPEN!".
About now you're thinking, Dude they make medicine for that. Ordinarily i would agree. Ordinarily i maybe the recipient of those pills. but here it is people, the thought that drove me to blogging. lay back, i think i am bringing you to climax now in my own personal way, with my fingers, so just lay back and enjoy this, you don't have to reciprocate in any way, its all about you right now.
i believe that every talented youtuber is or has some form of schizophrenia going on at any one given time. and the only difference that separates us from the people who need that soul soothing pill is a word called intellect.
our intellect allows us to route or channel these thoughts into a creative purpose, dare i say comedic? Oh oh oh, i know, WOW some climax mighty Thor,i already knew this. as i said, lay back now its all about you.
did you really think these thoughts? did this concept REALLY ever grip you and pull you into its fold? I sincerely doubt it.
every youtuber i know seems to live in a state of denial. every single F-ing one of them will sit and stare you right in the eye and say, dude i am just a regualr person. I do it all the time. and all through our humility and humbleness, we fervently deny our own uniqueness as people/talent that was unrealized and led us to the screens of youtube.
right about now you should be just at the point where i take my hand away and bring out my favorite imaginary toy, the JACK HAMMER, to fulfill my promise of climax to you, after all, its a you day.
And the thought that drove me and you into literal Ecstasy is now about to be jack hammered into your brain in such a manner as to hit your stimulus zones with such great force, you will return here again and again just for that guilty pleasure, the "just one more time and i'll go" feeling.
I am awash in unrealized talent. thats what this whole thing is, this mascarade we are in day after day after day. a pool of hot, steamy, salivating unrealized talent that is one of the largest pleasures i have had to explore and experience in my human existence. it is in all sincerity, a human interactive virus HIV. and we all want it. and we all need it. we fall into it like a roman slave girl into the emperors orgy, kicking and screaming of how much we dont want to do it, but there we are like good little whores servicing our masters.
if you were honest with yourself and admit it and you can now reach for the cigarette and in hale deeply. and i can now walk away knowing, i have given you a quickie for the day.
Of course me being a male, you can lie to me and tell me during the breakup you faked every orgasm. go ahead i wont believe it anyway. but until then, i think i'll go in the kitchen and fix your favorite snack and hand feed it to you, you look famished right now.
this is the Mighty thor saying
SEEE YA!
5 comments:
Welcome to the blogosphere. Blogosphere, has there been a worse recently invited word than that? My guess is no.
-Jon
intense!! my goodness, on msn you are so random and seemingly unable to stay on one topic for too long, like someone with major ADD. haha and here you just let the whole thought come out, in a humourous and unique way. i had no idea this was in you! kudos.
yeah this is really me
mikma was here
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